Advice to parents
- Never condone poor behaviour, although it is important to understand the nature of the game and how it can happen.
- Look to the referee of the competition to enforce the code of conduct. Poor behaviour should be dealt with through code violations.
- Identify some positive role models to follow. Look for older juniors or professional players that your child respects and that also display a positive attitude on the court.
- Make it clear to your child that you fully support them in everything that they are doing and that you have great pride in many of the things that they do, but that you are not happy about this one area, and it upsets you to see it happen.
Advice to players
Coping with mistakes is one of the toughest challenges in the game. If you can rise to and eventually overcome this challenge then you will be one of the best.
It is okay to be angry and annoyed about mistakes but the key is to find a way of coping and dealing with that anger so that you can come back and fight for the next point.
All the top players experience the same feelings and emotions. The only difference is that through experience and hard work most of them have got better at dealing with them.
Decide who your role model is going to be. How do you want to react when the going gets tough?
It is easy to have a tantrum, throw your racket and then lose the match, are you tough enough to react to these situations and take on the challenge?
There are two simple things that you have to achieve
- Find a way of reacting to your mistake that is within the laws of the game:
Turn your back on the court and your opponent immediately.
If you need to react with anger then do it – decide what your legal angry words will be.
If anything has to be hit then bounce the ball down into the court.
- Find a way of coping with the anger, stress and annoyance.
Put your racket into your non-playing hand.
Take three long, slow, deep breaths as you walk all the way to the back fence.
Once you get to the back of the court it is okay to be annoyed about what you've done, although is there anything that you could do differently next time?
When you're ready, turn back into the court, but as you step into the court feel your stress, anger and annoyance stay at the back court, leaving you ready to start the new point.
This process may take you some time to perfect but as you get used to it, you will find that the process of calming down doesn't take so long.
After a while you may find that simply turning your back on the court and switching the racket into your non-racket hand will be enough.
Remember though, you can't hold up play so need to be ready to serve or return serve within the legal time allowed between points.
Ask Judy